Let's say Adam and Eve never ate the apple and realized how nakey they really were. What if the serpent had never tempted her and she'd decided to use it in some kind of burlesque act she was putting together to surprise Adam for their anniversary? Maybe a burlesque show falls under the "knowledge of good and evil" clause, but I'd like to think God would've allowed a little sexuality in the Garden. I mean, he created it for us to enjoy within the confines of holy matrimony...or something. The point is, where would we be today if nothing bad had ever happened in the history of the world? We're talking no pain, no war, no illness, no Kanye -- perfection, folks.
Eulogizers, motivational speakers, and pithy quotes love to remind us about how we can't experience joy without pain, love without loss, Sam Adams without Busch Light, etc. How hollow and meaningless would our collective existence be, then, if we'd been spending all of history dancing naked in a garden with the Almighty's radiant love pouring all over us? Sure it sounds like 19 layers of awesome, but we wouldn't have a clue. We love to imagine the absence of evil and suffering as some kind of euphoric bliss -- a hundred billion hits of Ecstacy -- but could we really feel like that if we'd never known anything else?
It seems like it would be a system shock, you know, when you first spring from his mind, or loins, or the abyss, or whatever. You'd be completely overwhelmed by the perfection and warmth at first, owing only to the fact that any kind of external stimulus is brand new and kind of freaky. But I might be wrong there. It's God, right? He can make you instantly joyful and serene. The laws of man don't apply to him and it's within his power to give me knowledge of the vast blessings he's bestowed upon me without my experiencing any kind of suffering.
So let's say God's filled me with his love...juice, and my rib-wife and I hang around with all of the other couples watching guys appear out of nowhere and inviting them to join our hilariously madcap Jenga games. Ok, ok, so we do other things too. You gotta sing God's praises and perform sacraments, but for the most part we hang around getting along really well with one another and having an awesome time. It seems like we'd get a little bored eventually. You know, a little antsy to do something else for a while. It's only human nature. But it seems like I'm wrong there again. God ought to be able to keep me satisfied for all of eternity, right?
The answer's "yes" in case you were confused. But it brings up an interesting question: why did he create us in the first place? The obvious answer is that we were created to love and worship him. And while that sounds a touch narcissistic, I'll roll with it. So God created us as pets or children, take your pick. He loves us, wants the best for us, and the only thing he asks in return is that we love him forever and ever, amen.
That's cool. That's really cool, actually.
Anyway, he sets up this garden where everything is perfect and we're free to do as we please, because the only things we please are the things that please him. Now, this is where it gets confusing. He made it all, right? In the beginning there was the word...and then there were toasters, and badgers, and grandmothers, and paperclips. At some point he had to decide to create the tree and the fruit that contained the knowledge of good and evil. Why?
He loves me. He loves my bone-lady and our immaculately-conceived children in ways our puny human minds could never imagine. Still, he put this beautiful tree and its fruit right in the middle of the garden and told us to stay away or else. Apparently loving him was too easy. He wanted to make it a challenge. Seems like a cruel thing to do to your most beloved creations. And I know some would say that good and evil had to exist in humans. God can't control us, only make suggestions. But the truth of the matter is that if he is, in fact, God, everything is his to manipulate. He didn't have to create evil and suffering. He didn't have to tempt Eve. He didn't even have to make the tree. The bottom line is that he could have made us perfect and happy and let us roam free.
But what fun is that? The image of God as an angry little kid with an ant farm has been beaten to death. I don't think he's angry, he just wants to make things sportin'. There are a number of good theories as to why he did it. Maybe he realized there would be no larger purpose for us if there were no pain and suffering to sort through, so he was trying to give us the opportunity to create our own purpose. Shades of carrot-on-a-stick incentivism, but it still seems to come from a good place. Of course, if I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt, I also have to play devil's advocate. Maybe he was just bored with perfection.
It seems to me that God was probably doing humankind the biggest solid ever. He was saving all of us from a fate worse than pain, suffering, and death: abject happiness. He knew that our joy and love would be completely meaningless if he sustained it by himself. Sure, everything would be awesome (from the perspective of the current population of sinners), but it might as well be hell if we don't know what we've got.
So thanks, big guy, for doing the best you could in the situation (you created) to give our lives some meaning. Maybe next time you could try making a huge bouncy house instead of necessitating the Holocaust.
I mean, I don't think I could ever get tired of a bouncy house!
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